Pondering today on “seeing for the first time”.
Have you ever seen a “Where’s Waldo?” book, stared at a 3D image until your eyes adjusted, or sat down with one of the old school “Highlights” magazines and looked for hidden pictures? It’s fun to search for something until you find it or look at something until you see it.
One of my most favorite parts of this journey with God has been to awake to new truths (new to me), to discover beautiful treasures and to see things I never saw before!
I look back at my 50 years of life and I’m amazed. Amazed at how I’ve grown and how much I have yet to grow, amazed at what I used to believe was true and what I have found to be true, amazed at how the things I’ve looked at for so long are now being seen for the first time.
I don’t want to get into specific things because we could be here for days and it would probably lead to disagreements in ” views”. Instead, I’m pondering my overall experience.
I used to believe that when it comes to my journey with God, that I was on a journey upward, on a trajectory from earth to heaven, an endeavor to close the gap between my humanity and God. I was ever striving to get closer to God, to be more Christ-like, to shed my rotten,stinkin, humanness and be more “godly”. In truth, I really looked like a hamster on a wheel, running in circles but never arriving anywhere. I was always working on me, trying to become someone else, hoping I would be good enough. It was exhausting and hopeless.
But…just like with the Waldo books, the 3D images and the hidden pictures, it may take time…but eventually things become clear. You “see things for the first time”, things that were right there in front of your eyes but you overlook, you were focused on the wrong things, or you had looked at it the same way for so long that you weren’t actually seeing it anymore.
I began to see something about my journey that was brand new to me! I started to see God in everything and everyone. I began to see that God was WITH ME! God was IN ME! There was no gap between us! I didn’t need to get “closer” to God because we were one! I didn’t need to become less human because human was what God created me to be! I had been taught to “see” things that weren’t there. I had been taught to “see” things through a particular filter. I had been taught to “see” myself and my creator in ways that separated us instead of connecting us. No wonder I was spinning in circles and felt hopeless. I was seeing through other people’s eyes and not seeing the truth right in front of me.
The truth that I am loved, I am accepted, I am the recipient of a free gift and I don’t have to earn it. I am not becoming something…I am seeing who I have always been…seeing it for the first time.
When I look in the mirror now, I see the same reflection I’ve always seen but now I see her like I’ve never seen her before! I don’t see a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend who has fallen short. I see a human who is created in the image and likeness of a perfect creator. I see love and grace woven into every fiber of my being…long before I could have ever earned it. And I see you the very same way….PERFECTLY created!
Happy Sunday my friends and may you LOVE WELL…especially yourself.